Love... This season

It has been a while since I have sat down and written something. I remember moments when I lived to write pretty much anything I could. I was never the girl in college who hated writing her essays, I was always sitting down writing a song, or a blog, or a status update, writing was so major for me. I miss that season in my life, where I just felt so free doing something most people dread. So I decided to sit down and give this blog post a shot. This may not be my best writing, it may not even make a whole lot of sense, but allow me to re-introduce myself anyway.

Have you ever felt like you missed a time in your life so much, you just wish you could go back? It all seemed more simple, more innocent, and just an overall less complicated moment in your world? We all have those moments, the memories of the past that we wish we could re-visit and dwell in just a little bit longer. I was thinking about this today and I found myself really perplexed in thought.  We long to get these moments in our lives back, but did we truly enjoy them while we were living them?

I think about college often, now that I have graduated and moved on, it seems like such a distant memory, but it really isn't that distant. I think about all the good times I had with friends, the late night talks and conversations, midnight McDonald runs, and the impromptu bible studies we use to have. I think about the roughest moments in that season and how they don't seem so rough now that I am standing on the other side of them. I think about all the would of, should of, could of things that I wish I could change, or re-do. I find it so funny that now that I am on the other side of those memories, I see things so differently. My mom always says, " hindsight is better than foresight," and I never really understood what that meant until the Lord gave me this amazing revelation today. It simply means, the past always looks different standing in our present, but it is what you do with that knowledge that can drastically change your present and your future.

See, we can look back on things in the past and we could sit and dwell there, but keep in mind that your present will one day be your past, so while your stuck looking at things that you can't change, you should be focused on what you can right now and enjoy the moment.

I remember as a little kid, I always wanted to be a grown up, I always thought there was freedom in being an adult. Now that I am an adult, I know there is so much freedom in being a kid. You see, the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side, but you can't focus on the grass on the other side, you have to tend to your own. The seasons we go through in life are moments in this short life that we have, enjoy every season because they go as quickly as they came. right now, you might be like me and single, enjoy this season because one day, you won't have it. One day you could be married, and that will be a whole new, beautiful season, but don't be that person who continues to look back at their single season wishing they would have enjoyed it just a little bit more. I think that we take things for granted. We often take the simple things in life and forget how much beauty is in the simplicity. One day, I won't be able to just hop in a car and drive hundreds of miles just because I want to, I'll have to speak to my husband, round up the kids, figure out who's going to watch the dog , if we have a dog. See, right now the season I am is freeing, even if it doesn't always feel like it while I am in it. I want to enjoy life no matter the path God has me on, I want to stop and be thankful and grateful for where He has me at all times. Whether I am single, or married, young, or old, rich or poor, I want to just enjoy the goodness of God in every moment.

I say all this to say...

Live every day as if you won't get another season. Don't focus on the things in your right now that you can't change, instead build your faith, hold your head up, and cherish these moments, because tomorrow you may have transitioned into a new season and you want to be able to say goodbye to your old season with no regrets. "Carpe Diem."

Love Me...

My testimony: I got tired of watching other people have these amazing weight loss success stories. I saw everyone around me get active and live healthy, but I just couldn't bring myself to put down the Big Mac and grab something better for me. I prayed and prayed to God asking for help, I saw myself deteriorating and I'm not even 25 yet. I was out of shape, tired all the time, my attitude was awful, I just felt defeated. One day I talked to God and told Him I want to be the best me that I can be for His glory. If you know God, sometimes He is blunt, and He answered me back and said "you are the only factor holding you back." Then I got a text from a friend and we casually had a conversation and he told me that he was doing a challenge to drink at least 100oz of water a day. So me being the competitor I am, I told him I'd join him. Now, I hated water, I loved my soda, juice, and milk, and water was always so "blah"too me. The first day was the hardest, I choked my water down and finished the 100 oz by 9 that night, the next day I finished by 7, and the next day I finished by 5 and even drank over the 100. It became easier to get my water in daily, before I knew it I was drinking a gallon a day, completely cut out all other beverages, and had lost a little over 10 lbs in 2 weeks from doing just that. Then one of my best childhood friend's mom popped up on my newsfeed and I saw she had lost so much weight, and she messaged me and told me she added me to this group. So as I was added, I started seeing all of these success stories with these people who looked amazing and I realized I wanted that. So I reached out to her and she gave me info. We did a call and she told me all the details and we got to the money part of it and I immediately shut down. This program (isagenix) was expensive and I just wasn't sure. So I told her I'd call her when I saved up the money, knowing I had the money in my account that I had saved up for a rainy day and I could do it right there and right then. But I was still so hesitant. I was unsure if I was ready , could I really do this? Could I really be a success story? I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. Then I went and talked to my mom about it. See, I've always been a very confident girl, very outspoken, very outgoing and so my family knows none of my insecurities because I learned at an early age how to keep all of that bottled inside. I had to appear strong, never vulnerable , and always in control. But for the first time, I opened up and I cried to my mom about my frustrations with my weight and about my insecurities and fears. She encouraged me , as she always does, and told me to seek God. So I did. God was again, very blunt and He said "if you can invest in everyone else, if you can give time, attention , and money to other causes and people, why won't you do things for yourself? You can't glorify me with your life if you never consider that the life I designed for you and the plans I have for you require you to do hard and difficult things. This will be hard, this will be really hard, but with me, you can do all things." So I sucked it up, sent the text that I had the money and I did one of the bravest things I think I've done in a while, I chose to take care of me. 

Now down 36+ lbs and counting, I am so proud of what God has helped me to accomplish. This is truly such a life style change. I feel more beautiful than I have in so long. I feel more confident and it isn't a front. I feel healthier, I have more energy, and I feel more alive than I have in such a long time. I want to be a whole and complete person in mind, body, and spirit. I want every aspect of my life to reflect God's goodness and glory. I'm not doing this for my appearance, although it will be nice, but beauty fades, I'm doing this so I can be a better daughter, friend, cousin, sister, aunt, future mother, future wife, and an overall better person, I'm doing this for me. 

Know that if God is in everything you do, you will accomplish it with the right attitude . It takes much prayer, determination, lots of time with the Lord and diligence to do all of the things God has willed for your life. Know that "you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you,(Philippians 4:13) stands true until the end of time. If you have a goal whether it be to get healthy, build a company, go to school, or whatever it is, God has your back and He will be there every step of the way walking with you.