I recently had to take a
break from social media just to clear my head and gather my own thoughts. See,
I found myself everyday coveting the relationships I began to see cultivating
for my friends, and I knew that was unhealthy and sinful. I had to take a step
back and evaluate myself and let God work in my heart to reveal the ugliest
truth, I was living my life for a husband I don’t even have yet.
You see, this is the season in life (that mid twenties
season) where all of your friends start getting engaged, being married, and
having babies, and you’re left there wondering where your “perfect life” is. So
you cry out to God and you plead with Him for your turn to come, and come
quickly. You find yourself sitting at home on a Friday night watching re-runs
of Law and Order SVU all alone while scrolling through Instagram just to see
everybody else on the “perfect date “ with their “soul mate,” so you give up
and decide to go to sleep. Then you wake up the next day and pray again for
that man that you have yet to meet and you tell God “let your will be done,”
but what you really want to pray is “let your will be done, but in my timing
though.” So you go through your day wondering who this man is, what he is
wearing, have you met him? Are you going to meet him today? Is he in the car
next to you, or did you just almost bump into him at Wal-Mart? How will you
meet him? Now you are obsessed with all the possibilities of who this man could
be. You pray that he is everything God wants, but then you add your list of
· Tall
· Dark
· Handsome
· Successful
· Loving
· Good job
· Nice credit…
Oh..and He has to love God
too! Now you are completely sucked in,
and you cant help but think about him. Then the end of the day comes, and you
discovered, he still hasn’t shown up yet, and now you’re back in your rom,
watching Law and Order SVU marathons, scrolling through Instagram, wondering
where he is. Guess what sis, you are living for a man you haven’t even met yet!
Can you tell I am right there with you, you my dear are NOT alone. But you know
what, the Lord revealed to me that we are doing this single thing ALL wrong!
Is
the desire for marriage unhealthy? No, not at all, in fact the bible tells us
marriage is beautiful and it illustrates the relationship between Christ and
His bride (the church.) However, the idolization of marriage is where we begin
to go from wanting to glorify God to wanting to please our flesh, and that is a
problem.
God showed me in my time with Him that singleness is not
a curse. In fact, it’s a gift! God is not punishing you by keeping you hidden;
He isn’t “being mean.” God wants all of you! Every part of who you are, but
you’re so focused on your future bae, that you can’t see all of the awesome
things God wants to do through you by yourself in this season. I know we often
talk about the story of Ruth, and when we think of Ruth, we think of Boaz, but
Ruth was more than her husband! Ruth’s story started when she chose to lay her
life down and go with her mother-in-law Naomi instead of returning home to her
own family after her husband died. See, Ruth was busy serving someone else, and
that is what makes her story so beautiful too me.
“Don’t
urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, where
you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where
you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be
it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”- Ruth 1:16-17
Ruth saw how hopeless Naomi
felt, after all, she had lost her husband and both of her sons, how devastating
would it be to lose all of that plus both of your daughter-in-laws too. Ruth
saw this as an opportunity to not leave her, but to cling to her and put Naomi
above herself. Then, when they got to Bethlehem Ruth VOLUNTEERED to WORK in the
fields and pick up wheat and did it pretty much all day, with little breaks and
no complaining.
“She
said, ‘Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves behind the harvesters.’
She came into the field and has remained here from morning till now, except for
a short rest in shelter.” –Ruth 2:7
See, Ruth was there to work,
she wasn’t in search of a husband, she wasn’t checking out the men in the field
with her, she wasn’t thirsty for anybody’s attention, she was busy! Her heart
to please God and to serve other’s was so beautiful and magnificent! I pray I
can be more like Ruth, not because I want “my Boaz” to come swoop me up, but
because I want that drive, that heart that just wants nothing more than to
please God and to love and serve those around me. See ladies, we have it ALL
twisted! We are so focused on where our husband is that we forget to be worried
about where our faith is. Truth is, you may never get married, I may never get
married, WE may never get married, it might not be in God’s will for us. But we
HAVE to get to a point where God is more than enough! We have to look to the
heavens and know that we are purposed only for the things God has purposed us
for, and looking for our boo isn’t it. So lets get busy! Lets get active and stop
sitting at home, watching Law and Order SVU while we scroll through Instagram
tempted to covet the things that our friends have! Instead, lets focus on our
portion! Lets get up and serve somebody other than ourselves. It is time to
stop living for that future husband we have never met, and start seriously
worshipping the God who knows every fiber in our being! Be encouraged.
YOU ARE LOVED,
Nicole
