Love... The Vision God Gave YOU

It has been a very long time since I just sat down and wrote.  When I first began this blog, It started out as my way to vent and make sense of the journey that God has me on. Then my friends began reading what I wrote, and telling me they could relate to all the things I wrote about, so I kept writing. Then strangers were commenting on the blogs and people from other countries were reading them and saying they felt encouraged so I knew I had to keep writing. I began to see God getting the glory for the events in my life that seemed to feel hurtful or difficult for me. I soon realized my life is not about me. Whatever I do, whatever I go through, both good and bad, they aren't for me. 

God birthed Love Me 31. It was this beautiful vision full of so many amazing things God wanted to see accomplished through me. I felt so honored to be used by God and just humbled. When I first heard God tell me to start this ministry, I was NERVOUS. I felt so much like I was unworthy and just not good enough for the role God wanted me to be in. I felt so much like Moses when he was trying to give excuses to God as to why he just wasn't meant for the role of helping the people of Israel escape Egypt's captivity. 

"¹⁰ But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”

¹¹ Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? ¹² Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” (Exodus 4:10-12) 

I could think of just about everyone else who was equipped for the role, but I couldn't see myself in it. Even though I was a really good speaker and I loved to talk in front of people, I could still relate to Moses because I simply felt like I wasn't good enough. I looked at other women who are powerful in God, have amazing ministries, and I said "God I am NOTHING like them." I don't have the boldness of Heather Lindsey or the transparency of Jackie Hill. I am not beautiful like Sarah Jakes, or stylish like Real Talk Kim. I am just so different from these amazing women. God checked me real quick, just like He checked Moses. "Who makes a person's mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord?..." God told me in that moment He didn't even design me to be like those women. He designed me for the purpose He had specifically for me. You see, I don't have vision for Pinky Promise because God didn't create me for Pinky Promise. I don't have poetry skills like Jackie because God didn't make me for her ministry. I am not created to be anything like those women and they weren't created to be anything like each other either, and that is what makes them (and you) absolutely beautiful. 

You see, we get so caught up in ourselves that we forget God is STILL God. How prideful of me to even think that God would call me to something and let me fall. How arrogant of me to think that any of this is even about me. Be careful to not get caught up in it being all about you. Ministry, especially, is solely for the purpose of glorifying Christ and encouraging people to run to Him. 

I see so many people who forget that God knows what is best when it comes to who He called for certain assignments.  Romans 8:28 says that "we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." We are called according to HIS purpose, not our own. Which means that if God told you to do it, take your little pride and ego out of the way and do it. Take the leap of faith and just do it. Everything God tells you to do will work together for your good! He called you for a reason because He put the instructions inside of you when He created you especially for that purpose. 

You weren't called to be like anybody else. Your assignment is different for a reason. If you strive to use anyone else's purpose as a blueprint for yours, you WILL fail. It is like having a house built for $250,000 but you give the contractor floor plans for a house that costs $1 million. You look crazy. God has your blue print made up and mapped out, stop trying to build somebody else's house, yours is perfect for you. 


When I realized that I had become the girl trying to do it on her own and make what God gave me vision for look like the vision He gave somebody else, I really had to stop, repent, and re-evaluate. See, when you try and do things in your own will everything gets messed up. You basically tell God he is not capable of doing what He does best , be God. You then run the risk of missing out on impacting lives of people God meant for you to impact because you were to arrogant in your attempts to become something you simply are not. 

 If this sounds like your struggle, I really encourage you to seek God on how you can get back to His plans. YOU are NOT the boss. You didn't pay the price to be. You are even lucky to be a project manager in God's plan. You really have to get back on track and in line with God's purpose for your life. Stop trying to be everybody else and just be uniquely you. 

Repent, Ask for forgiveness, and move forward on the things God asked YOU to do.

You are good enough, you are worthy, you are wonderful!


<3

Nicole L.