Love...My Journey

So I see SO many women who just WANT TO BE MARRIED! I can tell you.. I am in the EXACT same boat! There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a wife some day. 

Genesis 2: 20-24 says: 

20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.23 The man said,“This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’for she was taken out of man. ”24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

We were DESIGNED to be WIVES as women..!!! The moment Adam woke up from the sleep God had put him in.. he called her his " Women... His Wife, " NOT his "girlfriend, baby mama, side chick, "the B word" , his main..." she was his WIFE!!!! 

* Side Note: KNOW YOUR WORTH LADIES AND WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE TO BE CALLED :) 

It is natural for us to want to be someone's help mate and to desire that covenant relationship! BUT don't let all of that get you LOST in translation with God. We can get so caught up in the " fairytale" we see in movies that we forget who we serve! 

I can only tell you guys my " love" journey in hopes that you GET IT! 

I, not too long ago, was SUPER obsessed with marriage...wedding bells... I wanted what I saw in the movies. I was looking at EVERY guy I passed thinking , " God.. is he it..??!??" All I wanted to talk about was marriage.. I would even speak on it with my friends biblically.. But my yearning for marriage became the EXACT thing that separated me from God.

 "WHHHHATTTTTTT...." you might be saying.." how can MARRIAGE.. a covenant thing from God himself.. SEPARATE you from God??!??" Stick with me... 

I was OBSESSED with what my idea of marriage was. I did not want to be  lonely my entire life.. I wanted someone I could lean on when my days got rough .. I did not want to do life " alone." I sought love.. I watched these reality shows where women were seeking love.. they were aggressive.. and pushy.. and got what they wanted. So I became aggressive.. and pushy to get what I wanted..

*** SIDE NOTE: that crap works in " the world" for women.. "worldly men" usually LOVE women like that.. but if you are seeking a man after God's own heart.. he ain't going for all that.. " He that findeth a wife.. finds a good thing.." NOT she that finds her hubby.. :) 

I couldn't see what was wrong with me! I thought " It is perfectly okay for me to want marriage.. " It was not until one day.. my best guy friend was having a conversation with me.. he told me .. in these exact words " Stop being thirsty!" OUCH right.. yeah.. it hurt .. THANK GOD he is a real friend who tells me what I NEED to hear and not what I WANT to hear.. make sure you have those friends around :) 

That statement hurt my little feelings.. lol I was sooo hurt and I went home and just sat in my room. I got on my knees with God and cried out and said " God.. Where is MINE.. I want to be a wife one day.. I want to be in love.. I want a relationship.. is that sooo wrong? " God then.. got real with me.. don't ask God a question unless you REALLY want the answer.. just saying :) 

God spoke to me and told me: "Nicole.. I can not send the one I have for you, to find you until you hide yourself in ME. You want  to be in love.. I am here.. love me.. I love you!... you want a relationship.. build one with ME.. I desire YOU.. and ALL of you. I have someone set apart just for you.. but you need to know ME first so you can be the kind of wife.. you will need to be for him. "

YEP... Blew my world up! 

So I made the decision.. that day.. to let God be " my man." I started just hanging out with God all the time. I took some advice from one of my FAVORITE bloggers : Heather Lindsey.. check her out! She said.. she went on dates with God.. and ate dinner with Him. She became content in God.. the more I did things with God I started to become content in Him. I started to not entertain EVERY guy who came my way. I started to focus on what God was telling me to do. ( this blog being one of the outcomes of my time spent in God.. AWESOMENESS ) . God just became my ultimate homie. We hung out .. we still do. and he is never a disappointing date... He is always a gentleman who " texts" my heart when He thinks about me.. which is ALWAYS... He " calls" me when he wants me in His presence.. He wrote me 66 chapters of love notes.. designed for me. He is the BEST "boyfriend" EVER! 

Although I am still physically " alone" I am never LONELY.. there is a difference! I soak God's presence up.. and I just let my heart be joyed in Him. I stopped focusing on marriage.. which had become my idol.. * Side Note: ANYTHING.. even things of God i.e marriage.. love..friends.. that takes your focus and attention away from your personal relationship with God.. is an Idol.. check your life..and your heart :) 

I can now confidently say.. I am CONTENT in GOD.. NOT stagnant.. but growing daily in who I am in Christ. My view has changed drastically.. and my life is so much more full. YES.. I STILL... want to be married one day.. but NOW.. in God's perfect timing and to God's perfect person for me ( not a perfect person... just the perfect one for me). 

So I encourage you... if you are feeling lonely.. talk to God.. get before Him and let Him mold you into the AMAZING woman He intends for you to be. Your relationship with ANY human WILL NOT be full or purposeful if your relationship with the creator is not flourishing. Let God be your husband right now... my dear sisters.. I will share Him with you :) 

Get married to Him.. before you try and marry one of His sons :) 

God is so in love with YOU!!!!

Nicole L.